And What If You Didn't Have To PAY For Who You Are…

Published in


August 22, 2022


Nikka Karli

And What If You Didn't Have To PAY For Who You Are…

What if you didn’t have to earn YOURSELF?

What if… WHAT IF… everything you have ever sought was already here?

Was already YOU?

We can experience so much conditioning that tells us we have to “get” to ourselves.

That one day, some day, in Never Never Land, we will understand and remember and know.

But not here.

Not today.

Not yet.

And within this fuckery of the highest degree, we can then spend a lifetime chasing an idea of home.

Simping after the tattered remnants of a magic that coulda, woulda, shoulda looked like ours.

That coulda, woulda, shoulda looked like soul.

And that shit HURTS, right?

To feel like you have to chase yourself down in order to just BE yourself.

But… and I know that you know this…

It doesn’t have to be that way.

And the problem that’s not actually a problem, but that we yet and still PERCEIVE to be a problem?

It’s that we have also been conditioned to believe that we are not trustworthy enough to even recognize ourselves when we come face to face with the truth of that which we are.

We have imprinted onto the notion that who we are is LESS THAN what we feel inside.

That who we are is not REALLY of the Most High.

That who we are is not ACTUALLY and FACTUALLY born of and to the cosmic magnificence of all that is.

And so we hem and we haw.

We forget to remember.

We believe that we have lost ourselves and don’t have the skills or magic to be found.

And so we keep chasing our tail and submitting ourselves to ye ole Muggle Dick Matrix, time and time again.

So much so that we begin to almost {ALMOST} believe that the quagmiric dystopia of a wayward soul IS our home…

And that it’s also all we are capable of having in this lifetime.

But, and say it with me here, Wild One…

Fuck that shit!!!

Because you are the embodied manifestation of that which IS…

And, for the sake of all that is {re}pussified and holy, isn’t it time you started ALLOWING that for yourself?

Isn’t it time you said yes to your everything and stopped hanging out in the outskirts of a life you kinda, sorta, maybe WISHED could one day be yours?

Yes? Yes.

And, within that, you simply now choose.

What you are available for.

Who you are available to be within it all.

What gets to be available for and unto you.

In this moment…

You get to choose.

You get to remember that you have say.

That you have FINAL say.

Without worrying yourself about the “how” of it all.

Rather, you decide that what is for you is now simply FOR you.

And what about God, tho?

Where is God in your choosing and saying and all the things?

Well, when you choose, you are, to the depths of your very cellular makeup, activating your God-born self.

You are invoking the miracles of the you who is beyond what your human mind can hold or understand.

You are initiating yourself back into the Truth.

Of who you are, yes.

But also of who you are not.

And, in that, you remember that your choosing?

It was always and ever OF the Creator.

As are you.

You are not separate from God.

You are a physical manifestation OF God.

And you get to say.

You get to choose.

You get to give yourself permission to call in and call down the infinite AS you.

Without needing to earn it.

Without doing something to deserve it.

Without it TAKING anything from anyone {including yourself}.


You opening and grounding into the full unleashing and surrendering of the mystery that you are?


That crown is already yours.

And you now simply get to appoint yourself back onto the throne of your fucking everything.

Post haste.

In the immortal words of James Baldwin:

“Our crown has already been bought and paid for. All we have to do is wear it.”


Eros & Excavation Writing Prompts:

Why would you not be allowing yourself to wear your crown?

And what might you become the embodied evocation of in the instantaneous now if you said yes anyway?

Comment/reply and let me know what comes through for you.

As always…

Here's to your untaming,



Last week, I opened the boarding for the most important work and medicine of my life…

And I’ve barely talked about it.

In part, I was in the midst of a migraine week.

But also?

I forgot to put on my fucking crown.

That last?

Yeah, it’s been remedied.

And I remembered who the fuck I am.


Do you?

Remember, that is.

And, within that remembrance, are you willing to allow yourself to wear your crown without hesitation?

Into all the places you have, up until now, denied yourself from fully and completely choosing?

And, even more aptly…

Are you ready to stop forcing yourself to pay for something our ancestors already fought and died for?

{Liberation, Beautiful One. I’m talking about liberation here.}

Are you ready to say yes to your everything…

And to allow it all to be completely immersed in unmitigated turn on, ease, and flow?

Energetic ecstasy, my Love.

It truly does get to be yours, now and always.

And if you ARE ready…

We are now officially boarding The Refugee Soul:Ship.

This is An Eropoetic Convergence At The Fault Lines for Melanated Kin.

Are you one of us?

Read more and request your invitation to board here.

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A Melanated Kin-centered multidimensional writing experience for the kairotic moments in life and in art, when it’s time to {un}become.

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