I’ve Been At A Complete Loss For Words

Published in


February 27, 2023


Nikka Karli

I’ve Been At A Complete Loss For Words

A few days ago, I opened up the Founding Membership for The Erotic Abolitionism™ Experience.

And I believe in it like no offer I have ever believed in before.

I’ve also completely surrendered to soul and the next evolution of the magic as me.

Centering Melanated Kin and doubling the fuck DOWN on Erotic Abolitionism™ itself.

And yet and still…

I feel like I don’t know what to say.

I FEEL like I have nothing TO say.

Have you ever been there?

Where you are about to unleash the greatest body of work you have ever ushered through and yet…

You feel like all words and gifts of communication have deserted you.

It’s strange though.

Because I also know everything is ABOUT to be said.

As if I have been in the final vestiges of a rebirth portal and am just now able to cross that edge.

To WALK that edge.

And so, the words wouldn’t come out…

But the magic was coming IN.

And when I tell you the LEVELS of confusion I have been in around all the things.

The message itself.

How to evoke and shift into this next evolution without causing separation.

Without creating what my trauma was telling me was SEGREGATION.

And so I’ve been in it.

Sitting in it.

Breathing in it.

Breathing IT in.

And allowing the curiosity to take me over.

Allowing God to take me over.



Wondering why nothing was “working”, even while also knowing beyond knowing that EVERYTHING was working.

Throwing my hands in the air, throwing my head back to the moon, and saying I’m fucking DONE.

With it all.

And meaning it.

And then…

A wonderous thing happened today.

Within the prayers and the howling and the muck.

I got depressed.

Not like the low to mid grade Scorpio/autism/creative depression that can run amok over the years.


This was a full-on, rapid onset malaise and banality of all existence that hit in the span of 30 seconds or less.


And it was medicine.

I KNEW it was medicine, even as it had me shutting down on all levels.

So I breathed with it.

I STAYED with it.

I didn’t try to “feel better”.

I knew it had a purpose.

I knew I was showing myself something that needed to be seen.

To be experienced.

And it was the ending.

Of a life less lived.

Of a me who didn’t know what to say.

Of an identity that let systemic trauma reign.

Because I’ve traveled on the stars and come undone as galaxies.

And I prayed the prayer.

And I knew.


I was done.

I ASKED to be revealed.

I ASKED to be extracted, to SEE.

I ASKED to be done.

And I have.

And I AM.

There will likely come a moment for you…

Perhaps THIS moment…

When you have also prayed the prayers and howled the howl and asked to be revealed back unto yourself.

And you will have a choice in that moment.

To draw your line in the sand around having everything you have ever asked for…

Or to back down.


To ask for less.

To negotiate with God for LESS.

Less than what you want, sure.

But, also?

Less than who you damn well know that you are.

And it is within these moments that we REMEMBER who we are.

That we get to choose how we will experience ourselves as the TRUTH of that which we are.

And so…

What will your choice be today?

As always…

Here’s to your untaming,



You have until tomorrow to join me in the dopest medicine portal I have ever before offered at the special {crazy low investment} Founders Membership pricing.

The investment goes up on Wednesday.

We are creating home.

We are deciding and intending and CHOOSING home.

As our magic and voices and sex and impact and #allthethings.

We are drawing our line in the sand that not only do we WANT it all, we now decide and allow ourselves to be the bridge and HAVE it all.

In the instantaneous and glorious now.

And I want you with us.



I’ll only be emailing everyone and posting full musings on social through tomorrow.

So if you are one of my Melanated Kin peeps, you will need to opt in here to get the full depth of the Melanated magic and medicine that’s coming up.

Sign up now.


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